Grace Amazing

Last night I spent about an hour playing on whatever songs I could find in my song book with chords I knew. I enjoy doing this every now and then. I'm constantly surprised in hearing new things in songs I've played and played and played before.

Take Amazing Grace. A well known hymn--almost cliche. And yet, last night, there was something different. The chords played well--D, D7, G, D, A7, G, D and repeat. Last night there was a difference in how these chords progressed in me and through me. A different ring, a different emphasis on the harmony. And a different emphasis on the words.

Like many, I've struggled with my faith. I've often joked that I was an atheist for 2 week and an agnostic for 10 years. Truth is, that's not far off the mark. I still struggle with believing in a something I can't test, reason or prove. And yet I know that I have felt the divine in my life. I have been carried through some very tough life challenges with grace and understanding from something outside myself that I can't prove.

Last night the phrase "I once was lost but now I'm found" just hit me right last night. Most often that verse is just a throw away line that I sing without much thought. But, last night it struck me about how far my faith has come since turning my back on God 16 years ago.

This is the sort of thing I want to experience more of with my guitar. I've tried to write before about why I'm teaching myself guitar and why I'm writing about it in this stupid blog. It comes down to the simple exercise of exploring parts of myself that I don't know about yet and reflecting on what I learn. Music has been a long journey in my life, but most of it has been parroting or being part of someone else's creation. The choir director, or the band director, or the congregation. But, I'm learning with the guitar that I have a creative spark that I can't quite control. I play the guitar and I hear things about myself coming out in the chords, or the rhythm, or a magical combination of both.


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