Don't be this guy

The library was closed today so that staff could have an in-service session. One of my colleagues brought a guitar as part of his presentation. I thought that was pretty cool. Until he played it. It sounded awful. I asked him why it sounded so tinny, when did he last change the strings?


He's had this Epiphone for 4 years and has never changed the strings. In fact, he bought the guitar used so he has no idea how old they are.

Why change them when they stay in tune?, he asks.

Well, for one thing, they didn't stay in tune. Every chord was a banshee shriek of agony. Second, playing in tune isn't the only thing that makes a guitar sound good. You have to produce good tone--that pleasing guitar sound that one can recognize as a guitar. As in, what's that sound?--oh, it's a pleasing guitar. Your goal should not be: what's that sound?--oh a female yak in heat...whoops, not a yak, just a cheap bastard with a guitar.

People! If others are telling you that your guitar sounds like a rutting, cattle-like mammal, change your strings!

Sadly, he is not the person mentioned in Guitar Lesson #8.

Honestly, though his skill was good, I had to leave because it was just on that last nerve, ya know?


  1. Alkelda the Gleeful said...
    Oh! Oh! I've got a lesson to add to your series. Lesson #n: If a performer kindly offers to let your child strum his or her guitar after a show, please make sure your child's hand is dry. If the child's hand is wet and you KNOW IT, do not walk up with your child, coo, "Strum the strings, honey," look up at the performer and say, "His hand is wet" as that gooey hand comes down, leaving a trail of glistening dew hanging upon the strings.
    K. Jay said...
    O. M. G. We'll call this Lesson #8b as I already have a few lined up to be posted automatically. Thanks!
    K. Jay said...
    maybe I'll need to start a series of Guitar Lessons for the non-player?

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